It's just one day, but the memories will last a lifetime. You get to be in the dark. I get hundreds of emails each year from people struggling in their relationships. For many of us, our life map was charted way before we were born, by the society we were born into, ... Before you ask the ‘why do I want to get married’ question. While married life is not always sunshine and butterflies, a majority of married couples have lower levels of stress hormones than most cohabiting couples or single individuals show. Out of my friends and people I went to university with 4 are alredy married and I think 10 or 12 are engaged. Are you afraid of being left alone in times like this? Sometimes, your real intentions are hidden a few layers deep and you just need someone to lovingly shake them to the surface for you. Basically, when you get married, things can get even better if they’re already good, but they only get worse if they’re already bad. Having first year of marriage problems? The first checklist is the BAD reasons people get married. But there is an important but neglected positive aspect that explains why people voluntarily enter into commitments like marriage: It is a way of expressing your love and devotion to another person. We are programmed to be social creatures and while the single life may have been fun, while it's lasted, eventually you will start to realize how much more enjoyable the good and even the bad days are when you have someone by your side. Get in-person help and support. But if your relationship doesn’t have these things already, let’s just say that it’s going to be pretty hard to make a marriage work in the long run. There are a lot of good reasons to get married. And I don’t just mean someone giving you an ultimatum—“we need to get married or I’m leaving”—although that’s definitely one giant red flag not to get married. With a supportive spouse, you can feel more confident in taking the chance on asking for a raise, starting your own business or any other things you have always wanted to do but never have. Otherwise, be prepared to deal with either a very short, tumultuous marriage or a very long, miserable marriage. You’ve probably heard this before but no one is going to be happy being with you if you can’t be happy being by yourself. One or both of you will wind up miserable and resenting each other. It’s a project, not an obligation. And then what? Married life means you have someone to share all your happy moments with and someone to lean on during the difficult times. Stop and ask yourself this about your relationship: are your lives going in the same direction and do you share similar values? Here’s why, at 30, I re-evaluate why I want to get married. It is highly unlikely that you will avoid arguments in any relationship but, married individuals tend to discuss the issues with open communication while many cohabiting couples will turn to a more physical and abusive alternative to solve their problems. They are more likely to survive a devastating illness, are less likely to have any serious accidents and recover from illnesses more quickly with a supportive and caring partner. because you’ve accomplished many things in your personal life and now you want to add marriage to your list, you’re not going to be emotionally invested into building a strong marriage. Yep, you want to find the fountain of youth? You think your value as a person is determined by who you’re with. There are also a lot of absolutely terrible reasons to get married. Most married couples have a greater chance of overcoming a number of ailments from cancer to heart attacks. I thought I was just “wired” for relationships that were fun but ultimately short-lived. If you don’t have respect for one another, you won’t gain it by getting married. As you well know through your blog readers, most marriages are unhappy (and saturated with adultery, porn, sexless, abusive) because everyone goes into them believing you can be in love with and sexually attracted to the same person your whole life. Please try again with different keywords. Here’s a list of some of the most popular ones and some of my favorites as well. A marriage—and any relationship, really—is something that is created by two people. Sure you get a few tax benefits from being a married couple but in the grand scheme of things being married does not grant a man anymore benefits than it does if he were in a long term relationship with a woman. I don’t think I will ever get married again… I actually waited until I was certain of the Woman I married and that she meant everything to me, and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and that she felt the same way. 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